Cooper is awesome.

Gotta be honest here — there are many days where I doubt I have the patience to be a parent. Being a parent of a infant/toddler is a bit like having a rude house guest that can’t speak — and who isn’t moving out. That said, Cooper is a pretty easy going guy. His language skills are picking up a bit, he recognizes a handful of letters and numbers and at this point, he knows how to use the iPhone better than my wife.

Work was good.

Things were good at work, even with the whole global economy collapse. Despite layoffs at many of the larger creative agencies in the area, we didn’t lose any staff due to the scaled back budgets at many of our clients. If anything, web work picked up a bit as budgets shifted from offline to online.

Music, music, music.

What would a year be without music? This year I flew to Australia to see Brian Eno perform live, which was one of those things I had high on my bucket list. I also saw Broadcast, Depeche Mode, The Breeders, Metric, Nine Inch Nails (twice!), Echo and the Bunnymen (in the studio!), Arctic Monkeys and more.

Cooper Update

The past 7 months since baby Cooper was born have been a bit of a blur. The beginning was a shock to the system, but over the months we’ve fallen into a groove and now things are pretty predictable. Coop’s sleeping through the night (for the most part) and he’s typically in a good mood, unless he’s not feeling well. I feel tremendously fortunate for this, because I’ve heard horror stories of terminally fussy babies from friends with young children.

Concerts

Right after Coop was born I caught a few shows: The Cure and REM. But as the months rolled on, getting sleep became a lot more important than seeing shows I had tickets for. I skipped The Breeders, Brightblack Morning Light and Neil Halsted at Schubas. However, while I was getting my bearings as a parent, I felt I was losing touch with myself as a person. So I’ll be seeing a few shows soon, starting with Department of Eagles at Schubas next week.

Stereo Realization

If you know me at all, you know I love music. But over the years I’ve come to realize that while I have a nice stereo in the living room, I actually do most of my music listening in the car or on the computer. Last year I upgraded my car stereo with an Alpine amp, a pair of Boston Acoustics speakers and a Blaupunkt subwoofer. This year I’m doing a bit of tinkering with my computer setup. I’ve switched from using my M-Audio studio monitors to using a pair of Polk bookshelf speakers hooked up to a small amp. The amp is connected to my computer through a digital to analog convertor via the optical out of my G5. So far, so good. Now I’m just debating upgrading my entire music collection to either 320k mp3s or Apple Lossless files.

Don’t Be Too Eager About the Diaper

Initially, I wanted to be extremely responsive about the diaper changing. After all, I wouldn’t want to sit in my own urine and feces for any longer than is necessary, and I thought it would be considerate to extend that courtesy to Cooper. However, this is not the case. If the early bird catches the worm, then the early diaper changer either gets peed on, pooped on, or both. Faith and I have called this rapid-fire succession of excrement the “Cooper Midnight Special”. So we now take the approach that any diaper activity by Cooper is likely an act in three parts.

Losing Sleep Really is Worse Than Missing Concerts

Now i feel old. The other weekend I had tickets to see the Breeders at the Metro and I skipped it to take a nap. Writing that sentence pains me, as that kind of behavior was exactly what I was dreading. But it’s true. Having a newborn means sleep comes in small doses, and there’s never enough. That means I’ve missed two concerts now because of Coop – the Breeders and the Cure. Coop was born on the day I had 8th row tickets to see the Cure, which is why he’s grounded until he’s four years old.

Sure, a four-year grounding for something he didn’t have total control over may seem harsh, but really – where was he going anyway these first four years? It’s really more of a ceremonial grounding for my own peace of mind. At least I didn’t miss R.E.M. at the United Center the other night.

Babies Are Not That Similar to Cats

Faith had been joking for months that having a baby would be a lot like having a cat, which I was opposed to initially (but now I love our cats on a completely ridiculous level). And this is nothing like having a cat. Cat’s don’t need your help to eat or use the restroom every two hours, and crying from a cat is typically short-lived and not that abrasive. The crying of a baby is like standing next to a fire engine siren, it’s a horrifying sound that pierces the mind.

On the other hand, while our cats are less maintenance, their range of expression is also fairly limited. More often than not, Coop is a pretty good-tempered guy – smiling, laughing and typically enjoying himself. And he leaves less hair on our clothing, which is a bonus. So I can safely say that he’s grown on me quite a bit from those first nervous moments at the hospital.

I Went to Barcelona

Which sounds so much more exciting than I let it be. In my defense though, it was my first time out of the country. And watching CNN stories about terrorists preferring tourists for hostages and getting warned from everyone I talked to about pickpockets stealing their passports certainly didn’t put me in the right state of mind for global adventure. First of all, I’m going to stop buying books about places I’m going to visit. I never read them, and when I do read them, they don’t tell my anything helpful enough to have made it worth buying the book. I’m better off just getting on the plane and then reading the brochures in my hotel room and asking for tips from the concierge. All I really need is my iPhone and my Visa. That’s it. I might not even pack anything else next time.

By the way, dining globally is a bit of a challenge for the fussy eater. Twice I thought I was ordering some kind of pasta with marinara sauce and once I wound up with cheese ravioli that smelled like fish and the other time I got a bowl of rice with a crab on top of it. A dead crab. If it had been a live crab, I could have named it and explored Barcelona with it, like a pet.

Long story short: I was kinda on edge, which is to be expected on my first trip out of the country. I’ll be more on top of my game next time. And now I have a passport, which means if Brian Eno plays live on Earth again in my lifetime, I am so there.

I Saw Some Concerts

Black Lips played Logan Square and were great as always. These guys never disappoint, although I can’t say as much for the opening band, which went by the name of “Quintron and Miss Pussycat” and made it into my list of all-time five worst opening bands ever. And that’s saying something, when I consider the other stinkers in that list. I mean, they ended their set with a puppet show. And that’s not a euphemism, it was an honest-to-god puppet show. Luckily, Black Lips redeemed the night with a high energy set.

My Mom and I saw Robert Cray at the House of Blues. By the way, the only artist I’ve likely seen more than Robert Cray is the Reverend Horton Heat. Robert Cray was among the first bands I saw as a kid, at the age of 13 with my parents at Summerfest in Milwaukee. I honestly haven’t kept up with his albums since “Shame + Sin”, but from the sound of his performance, he hasn’t strayed far from his sound. This was a far more relaxed evening with my mom at the HOB, since last time we were there involved the Reverend Horton Heat, long island ice teas, cigars and bouncers.

I went and saw The Magnetic Fields at Old Town School of Folk Music. This was an excellent performance, much better than the exhausted set they played previously at the Old Town School. I was a little surprised they didn’t employ any guitar effects since their new album is called “Distortion” and sounds like the Jesus and Mary Chain, but it was no matter. The evening was filled with perfect songs and witty (and sometimes rambling) stage banter. No opening act at this show, which was nice since it started a bit late for my taste.

I saw a sold-out Raveonettes show at Double Door. It was packed. This was also the first show I saw with the gal who sits next to me at work. We’ve been planning to see a show for over a year, but it’s never worked out until now. The Raveonettes put on an excellent performance, far better than their previous show, supporting the questionable “Pretty in Black” album. Their new release “Lust, Lust, Lust” finds them in top form, and their live show is just as good.

I also saw Jens Lekman, Laurie Anderson, Duke Spirit and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Not at the same time though, although that would be a hell of a ticket.

The Whole Baby Thing

Not much to say on that front yet, other than we’re moving forward. At this point I’m simultaneously excited, nervous and in denial about the whole thing. In spite of all that, I do think I’m going to be a decent dad though – because frankly, what other choice do I have? This really isn’t the kind of thing I have the option to screw up. Fortunately, I hear that kids are more resilient than they’re thought to be, which is good news, since I’m fairly certain they’re made of porcelain. Speaking of Coop, looks like I’m going to miss The Cure show (8th row tickets!) because of him, which means he is SO GROUNDED. I mean it, he’s not leaving the house for months.

Speaking of Baby Updates

When it does come time for some baby Cooper updates, there’s two good places to check (since you can see how much activity this blog gets lately). The first is my Twitter page. In case you’re unfamiliar with Twitter, it’s basically like a micro-blog, where I can post random thoughts or things as they’re happening.

The other is my Flickr account where baby photos will be posted at some point. Since Faith and I watched a freaky show on CNN about baby thieves, we might only make those photos available to folks with a username and password. So if you’re interested in seeing baby Coop, e-mail me and let me know.

Because of that show on baby thieves, I won’t be posting anything too specific on either Twitter or Flickr. Nothing about which hospital we’ll be at, what room we’ll be in, what day we’re going into the hospital, what day we’ll be leaving. Nothing at all that would allow evildoers to do anything evil to baby Cooper. Not that it’s at all likely, but better safe than sorry. If you know me well enough to be reading my blog, you probably know how to get a hold of me. And if you don’t for some reason, you can always e-mail me. I’m pretty responsive through phone, IM, text messages and Twitter on my iPhone these days.

At first, Faith was a bit disappointed. She had really been pulling for a girl, picturing making her daughter dresses and doing whatever it is that mothers do in the company of their daughters. But she’s come around now that we’ve bought a bunch of Classic Pooh gear for the little guy. I wasn’t pulling for a boy or a girl, figuring that each has it’s own pros and cons, and also that my wanting one or the other didn’t figure into the actual sex of the baby one bit.

Now that we’re fairly certain it’s a boy, I am thinking a bit on how to raise a boy. For example, I can’t throw a spiral. When I try to throw a football (or any piece of sporting equipment actually) you had better give me a pretty wide berth. I can hit a baseball with a bat, but catching is pretty touch and go. When you’ve had glasses your whole life, you learn quick to avoid small hard objects flying at high speed.

With any luck, the kid won’t be into sports. Some have said that your child will instinctively seek out those activities that you hate and gravitate toward them. The visual of Faith and I attending football and basketball games gives me the chills. But I suppose some sort of team activity might be a good thing and help our child to be fairly well adjusted. Personally anything that keeps him out of a bell tower with a rifle is a good thing in my book.

Personally, I gravitated towards my dad’s interests. He likes music and stereo equipment and I like music and computer equipment. I like stereo equipment as well, but not the the degree of the true audiophile, which I’m sure must break his heart in some way. I appreciate quality stereo gear, but I’m not sure I have the attention to detail that is required when you’re paying $150 for a pair of RCA cables. Plus, I’m pretty spoiled by having all my music in iTunes and a pair of small studio monitors for computer speakers. But my version of audiophile these days is ripping CDs at 320k. But I digress.

By the way, the only name for a boy that we’ve come up with so far that we both like is Cooper. Faith suggested Milo but I know too many people who have dogs named Milo. I know what you’re thinking – that I named my kid after my car. Not true. It’s just a coincidence. This has been the year of Cooper – the car, the classes and the fact that Faith and I just watched all 29 episodes of Twin Peaks featuring Agent Dale Cooper. So it just seems like it’s meant to be.

My only real requirement of the name was that it didn’t predispose the kid to turn out to be a real jerk. Some names have that affect on people. You know who you are.

Even though we’ve had two ultrasounds, and we know it’s real – it completely doesn’t seem real for either of us yet. Our immediate discussions centered around things that we’ll need to change about our lives either immediately, or by the time the child is born. Things like: we’re going to need to keep our place tidier and stop living like college students, we’ll need to start actually buying groceries and eating out less (since it’s expensive), we’re going to need to get acclimated to not sleeping most of the weekend like cats.

Some Changes are Coming

I’m also going to need to make some changes, since I’m not particularly responsible with money. I’ll need to buy fewer CDs and see fewer shows, since both add up pretty quickly. Five years ago I would have written that sentence with utter horror, but these days neither seem like that big of a deal. I’ve been buying fewer CDs anyway because of eMusic (ok, I did buy four CDs last week, but that was an anomaly these days) and I’ve been getting progressively less interested in live music. Don’t get me wrong, I love live music – but I have seen hundreds of shows, and it’s getting pretty hard to find a show that’s worth the time, money and effort anymore. This year’s notable exceptions include Grinderman at the Metro, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at the Vic and Arcade Fire at Chicago Theater.

How Do You Raise a Kid?

In addition to life changes, I’ve been thinking a lot about how to raise a child. Do we start going to church? (Probably not, since I don’t see the point and I’d feel like a ridiculous hypocrite every Sunday.) What do we tell the kid about sex? (Probably everything, why shelter the kid?) I’m thinking of starting a journal of things I’d like the kid to know – something I can give them around the age of twelve or so.

The Central Idea: Undo

When I think about my own upbringing, there is one very important idea that has carried me all through life. I’m not sure where I got it, since I don’t recall anyone sitting me down for this kind of talk, I suppose I might have come up with it myself. The idea is this: there are two kinds of decisions you can make in life: ones you can undo and ones you can’t.

Ok, the idea isn’t groundbreaking. But I thought a lot about this as a kid. Trying any kind of drugs more exotic than smoking pot a few times could lead to addiction, trouble and maybe death. So I didn’t do it. Drinking and driving is the same: I could kill myself or someone else with that decision, so it’s best to avoid it. As a teenager, I held off on sex for quite a while because everything about it had long-term implications. If not pregnancy or disease, at very least you could wind up in a more more intense relationship that you ought to be in as a high school kid – and I had a pretty good idea that I wasn’t mature enough for that at that time.

I would like to impart this idea to my kid, because it seems like it’s a pretty good divining rod for avoiding catastrophe. I think some parents overprotect their kids, and end up driving them to the things they have been forbidden to do. Something I think my parents did well (although perhaps by accident) was to remove the allure and mystery around things get into trouble doing. My parents would buy me wine coolers at Summerfest, which gave me familiarity with alcohol and as a result, lessened any fascination I might have with it.

I was able to stay out fairly late, so sneaking out of the house was never really a problem. I was able to have girls in my bedroom as a kid, so I wasn’t out trying to find places to make out or worse. Don’t get me wrong, I still got into trouble as a kid. I threw parties when my parents were out of town, I altered my report cards in high school, etc. But I didn’t get into any trouble that I couldn’t undo, and that would have set me up for a tougher path in life.